


it's just that, maybe (things are not what they seem)

by historiologies



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: But they're not, Everyone Thinks They're Together, M/M, Soonwoo get married and Booseok are the planners, or are they?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-18
Updated: 2020-01-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:34:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22302688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/historiologies/pseuds/historiologies
Summary: Seungkwan and Seokmin plan Soonyoung and Wonwoo's wedding-slash-spiritual ceremony. It makes sense; they're a natural fit together since they're dating. Right?Except they're not. They're really not.
Relationships: Boo Seungkwan/Lee Seokmin | DK, background soonwoo, everything else is squinty, seungcheol het
Comments: 8
Kudos: 103
Collections: 85 Days Left 2019: A Christmas-Themed Fic Fest for Seungkwan and Seokmin





	it's just that, maybe (things are not what they seem)

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: not-exactly-fake-dating au where booseok go to an event together (wedding, reunion, some sort of christmas event, it's up to u!!) as Just Friends. but for some reason, everyone assumes they're Together together and Obviously they have no choice but to act like they are. and despite the fact that they have Very Real Feelings for each other, somehow they individually keep convincing themselves that the other is just playing along to make everyone else happy 
> 
> So this is my attempt to do this prompt justice. I'm so sorry this was so late!! I really had a terrible streak of writer's block after the last few things I've written and I've just not been in the mood to work on any WIPs. As a result, this is a rusty messy piece of work that I hope got its shit together in the end, just like BooSeok. I love these two so much, and I really wanted to participate in this fic fest for them. Thank you for being so understanding, mods. ;; and to everyone else who loves the best boys, thank you for your support!!

It starts with a wedding. Or rather…

“It’s not a real wedding,” Soonyoung had told Seungkwan and Seokmin two months ago when he came over with the big news. His grin, wide and infectious, felt like it lit up their tiny two-person apartment. “That would be stupid.”

“Not stupid, _hyung_ ,” Seokmin had assuaged him, hugging his arm, about 0.3s before Seungkwan was about to open his mouth to agree with Soonyoung. Honestly, this was why Seokmin was the best of them. “It’s a beautiful idea.”

“You think? It’s about time, right?” Soonyoung’d been practically sparkling. “I can’t believe I’m committing to the dumbass. Holy shit.” Tears welled up in his eyes.

It set them all off. “ _Hyung_ , don’t you dare,” Seungkwan wailed at him, feeling the telltale tingles in the bridge of his nose growing powerfully strong already. “You’re going to set me off.”

“Too late, I’m already starting,” Soonyoung wailed back; he clutched at his two best friends’ hands as they started sniffling with him. “Who would have thought I’d get my shit together ahead of you both?”

“I know you’re entering into a ‘spiritual commitment’ with Wonwoo-hyung, but that doesn’t give you the right to insult me, hyung,” Seokmin sobbed at him, before pressing his face into Soonyoung’s sweatered bicep. “Who would have thought Wonwoo-hyung wanting to get into shape and asking you to be his gym partner was just him trying to get you to go out with him?”

“I can’t believe I helped him come up with that plan a year ago,” Seungkwan sniffled, before burying his face in his hands, an almighty cry already ripping out of him. “And now you’re going to spend the rest of your lives together.” The last syllable extended, prolonged and wobbly, until three voices joined in weeping harmony.

It’s when their sniffles died down and Seokmin passed around the tissues that Soonyoung managed to tell them that he wanted the two of them to arrange the whole thing. It wasn’t anything official, clearly — South Korea was slowly becoming progressive but there would still be a ways to go until same-sex marriage would be a viable option for them — but Wonwoo knew Soonyoung was a sucker for ceremony and who ever said partnerships had to be legal to mean anything?

“Literally the law tells us that,” Seungkwan had quipped, but Seokmin elbowed his side subtly, lest he pop Soonyoung’s enthusiasm.

“So you want us to basically throw a party?”

“The biggest one! Wonwoo said I could spare no expense!” Soonyoung sniffled smugly, if one could actually sniffle smugly.

“Wow, does this ceremony mean you have access to Wonwoo-hyung’s bank account?” Seokmin marveled.

Soonyoung preened. “Maybe. Spiritually.”

Seungkwan had laughed so hard he almost missed what Soonyoung said next. “Anyway, maybe after my ceremony you two can have your own… thing.”

“Why would I have a ceremony? I’m not dating anyone,” Seungkwan had said, wheezing a little. Visits from Soonyoung and being exposed to his constant childish genius always left him a little winded.

“What?” Soonyoung had stopped laughing immediately. “But aren’t you two dating? Like, finally dating after all this time?”

Seokmin, who had been reaching for his phone while this conversation was going on, promptly fell off the couch.

—-

It’s a month to the wedding — sorry, _spiritual ceremony_ — and Seungkwan is distressed about it. He’s supposed to be putting the finishing touches on this shindig, but his thesis for his masters degree is kicking his butt and Seokmin is more follower than planner. Alarmed at the passing of the days, he’d ended up reaching out for Joshua to help him out, but it ends up being a terrible idea because ever since he got here, he’s just been sitting there, looking like the cat who swallowed the canary and it’s driving Seungkwan up the wall. 

When confronted, Joshua simply shrugs and says he wants to hear what’s happening between him and Seokmin first.

Here’s the thing that Soonyoung’s declaration made him suddenly, painfully aware of: everyone thinks they’re together.

“I mean, physically, we are. We’re _roommates_ ,” Seungkwan grouses, exasperated. Quietly, Joshua nods and continues to stir his cup of coffee, smile serene and all-knowing. “But it’s nothing romantic, _hyung_.”

When Joshua simply sips his brew, eyes meeting Seungkwan’s over the cup, Seungkwan crosses his arms and gives him a ferocious scowl. “I swear!”

Joshua swallows, eyebrow raising imperceptibly. “Sure, Seungkwan. I believe you.”

“Then why does it feel like you don’t,” Seungkwan mutters; he starts playing with the unused sugar packets that Joshua got with his coffee, making a small noise of distress when it rips in his hands, sending crystals flying everywhere.

“Hmm,” Joshua hums, and Seungkwan can feel his judgment pressing down on him like a physical weight — a heavy fur coat lined with very faint disdain. Hastily, he sweeps up the debris into his palm before depositing on the empty saucer next to him.

“I’m just saying, you doth protest too much,” Joshua says, quoting something foreign in English. 

Seungkwan blinks, tilts his head. “What’s a doth?”

Joshua grins, a broad, genuine one this time. “Sorry, I think… maybe you give off the impression of working a little too hard to dissuade people of the idea. That’s all.”

“Well, yeah,” Seungkwan retorts, eyes practically bugging out of his head. He doesn’t understand why people can’t get why he’s so upset about this. “Because it’s the _wrong_ idea.”

“What’s the wrong idea?”

Seungkwan lets out a little yelp.

“Speak of the devil,” Joshua says pleasantly.

Seokmin is scooching into Seungkwan’s side of the booth, carrying a cup of hot chocolate and throwing an arm around him. He’s warm and snug and so Seokmin that Seungkwan’s frustration at having to deal with Joshua’s obstinacy ebbs just a little. “Nothing,” he says quickly. He reaches down and pats Seokmin on the knee, to reassure him further, because it’s Seokmin and Seungkwan knows he fixates on the little things, on being a step behind on the jokes and of being played a fool even as he voluntarily chooses to be. He does his best not to jolt when Seokmin covers his hand with his, squeezing, duly reassured.

It all happens in a few seconds, but it’s enough to get Joshua to look at him with the biggest shit-eating grin Seungkwan’s ever seen on him.

Seungkwan narrows his eyes at him in response. 

Never let it be said that Joshua Hong doesn’t know how to read the room. “Carnations. They’re pretty, but clearly not for a wedding. Don’t you agree, Seokmin?”

“I honestly don’t know, _hyung_ , I leave those matters to Kwannie here,” Seokmin replies, oblivious to Joshua’s Cheshire cat grin. “He’s got a much better eye than I do.”

“Well, of course he does,” Joshua replies sagely. Seungkwan is sorely tempted to step on his foot when he stands up to go to the bathroom. “Clearly, he can see everything, especially the obvious things right in front of him.”

Joshua gasps when the edge of a loafer catches the middle of his shin, before glaring at Seungkwan, who gives him a breezy smile, and an “oops, sorry _hyung_ , my bad” before excusing himself to go to the little boys room.

—-

“So what if you’re dating your roommate. What’s the big deal, anyway?” Seungcheol asks him, while Seungkwan is sitting in the passenger seat of his pickup. “You _are_ dating, right? That’s what Han and Shua told me.”

They’re on their way to a fancy event location that Jeonghan worked at, which location would serve as the venue for the ceremony slash reception. Seungkwan had asked Seungcheol, who was Wonwoo’s best man, to pick him up at his apartment on the way to a final ocular of the venue, in a sneaky attempt to get the other alone for a heart-to-heart.

Being the oldest and supposedly wisest of their friend group, Seungkwan had thought that maybe speaking to Seungcheol would confirm that the new sensation of butterflies in his stomach were a result of people’s sudden fixation on getting Seungkwan to admit that he and Seokmin were dating, and not because he actually had feelings for his roommate.

Seungkwan sighs.

Apparently he was wrong.

“ _Hyung_ ,” Seungkwan whines. He’s doing a lot of that lately. “You know better than to trust everything those two say. Don’t tell me you believe them? And to think I thought so highly of your intuition.”

“There’s nothing wrong with my intuition,” Seungcheol retorts. He twists and gives Seungkwan a quick grin before turning back to the road, easing to the right to avoid the glut of traffic up ahead. “They just confirmed what I saw and what I’ve been observing with my own eyes.”

“Just because you got Nayoung- _noona_ to date you doesn’t mean you can look at someone and instantly know if they’re in a relationship or not,” Seungkwan continues to grouse. He sinks into the seat, crossing his arms and beginning to sulk. How annoying for people to put him into a relationship that’s not even real. Don’t people have their own lives to worry about?

Also, if he were really in a relationship, he should be reaping the benefits of it, like dates and gifts!

_I bet Seokmin-hyung would give really sweet gifts._

He shakes his head, disturbed. Oh my God, all this fake relationship talk is making him feel all weak and relationship-wanty, which has never been his style. He’s a strong, independent boy, thank you very much. He can find his own man; he doesn’t need to rely on other people inventing a relationship for him.

“You underestimate my knowledge, young padawan,” Seungcheol says, amused. “After all, I was the one who told Wonwoo to finally suck it up and ask Soonyoungie out.”

Seungkwan rolls his eyes. “Try using that reference on someone who knows what you’re talking about.”

Seungcheol laughs, hearty and warm. Seungkwan tries to hide his grin. He doesn’t want to admit it, but Seungcheol is his favorite. When he was being picked on by stupid bullies in high school, Seungcheol was the one who stood up for him and protected him. He’d always, in some way, looked up to him.

Which is why he’s surprised that even Seungcheol thinks he and Seokmin are dating!

“You know, if you say you guys aren’t dating, Kwannie, then I believe you —”

Seungkwan throws his hands up. “Thank you!”

“But I’ll just tell you one thing,” Seungcheol starts to say, but he’s interrupted by his phone beeping. “Oh, look who decided to make his presence known.”

Seungkwan doesn’t even need to look at the screen of the phone Seungcheol has strapped onto his dashboard to know who had messaged.

“Seokmin’s already at the venue with Hannie, in case you’re wondering.”

“I wasn’t,” Seungkwan firmly replies after a pregnant beat. “I don’t know where he is at all times.” He still has his arms crossed, defiant little pout on his lips.

“Well, that’s well and good, but clearly he wants to know your location because he’s asking about you right now.”

Seungkwan refuses to give Seungcheol the satisfaction of wanting to know just what the text message contained. “Well noted.”

Seungcheol bursts into laughter. “Jeez, Seungkwan, you are something.”

“Wonderful, beguiling, charming, handsome,” Seungkwan breezily begins to rattle off a string of adjectives. “Among many other things.”

He narrows his eyes suspiciously when Seungcheol leans towards him, conspiratorial. “That’s funny. That’s not even halfway close to the things Seokmin says about you.”

That shuts him up. 

Seungcheol smirks at him before swinging into the driveway of the venue.

“We’re here.”

—-

“Will. You. Stop?”

Jeonghan blinks innocently, an expression of faux shock on his face. “Me? Stop what? Seungkwannie, whatever do you mean?”

He cannot believe fate saddled him with Seokmin and the three most devilish _hyungs_ in South Korea when planning this spiritual ceremony. He doesn’t care if Soonyoung thinks it was the best, most logical idea ever, what with Jeonghan working at an event venue, Joshua’s family owning a flower shop and Seungcheol’s girlfriend’s family owning a restaurant for the catering — if it were up to him, he’d have worked with Chan, Mingyu and Junhui, all of whom were infinitely less meddlesome.

Well, maybe not Mingyu, but the point still stood.

“You are… hovering!” Seungkwan complains, angling his phone away from Jeonghan’s sneaky eyes. “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t try to read my messages over my shoulder.”

“I can’t read a thing, you know my eyesight is terrible—”

Seungkwan interrupts him to scoff. “You’re wearing your glasses.”

“Oh you sweet little turnip,” Jeonghan coos. He steps closer to Seungkwan to buss his cheeks, amused. “I don’t need to see your messages to know exactly what’s on your mind.” He’s so patronizing Seungkwan has to laugh.

“You _hyungs_ think you know everything,” Seungkwan sighs. He tucks his phone away purposely, because he doesn’t want to give Jeonghan the satisfaction of being right.

Because if Jeonghan sees that Seungkwan _was_ , in fact, messaging Seokmin, well. He wouldn’t be able to live it down.

“You know, Kwan, just between us two…” Jeonghan starts, and Seungkwan doesn’t interrupt him snarkily because he’s taken aback by how serious Jeonghan’s tone has all of a sudden become. Nerves make him swallow, and he waits for him to continue.

“What?” Seungkwan urges him, when Jeonghan remains silent and contemplative for a full minute after.

“You know Seokmin and I are very close, right?”

Academically, Seungkwan understands what Jeonghan just said because they are. Very close. Seokmin was one of the people who had utmost patience in dealing with all of Jeonghan’s quirks (heaven knows that as much as Seungkwan loves him, he is _not_ that person) and because of that the two of them had become really good friends, almost as close as Seungkwan and Seokmin were. Maybe even closer. They had regular lunches, roomed together when their whole friend group went on trips together, and went on shopping excursions so often that they could be mistaken for actual boyfriends.

Which they aren’t, because as close as they are, he and Seokmin were roommates and he would have known if Seokmin started dating Jeonghan.

That’s why he knows that what Jeonghan means by what he said is simply that he’s close to Seokmin and very protective, as every single person who has met Seokmin is wont to be.

It still doesn’t stop the frisson of jealousy that runs through him.

“And?” he supplies instead, hoping that his voice remains neutral. Honestly, people have never been this interested in his love life until now. He’s a bit upset by it.

“So… if you hurt his feelings, I don’t care how long we’ve been friends.” Seungkwan finds himself on the end of a very pointed glare. It makes him blink. “I’m going to make you suffer.”

Seungkwan scoffs. “Like you ever could.” He sticks his tongue out and Jeonghan giggles. “Besides,” he continues, pulling out his phone again because he knows Seokmin gets worried if he doesn’t reply when they’re in the middle of a conversation, never mind that it’s just about who’s picking up dinner later. “You have nothing to worry about. Like anything I do could ever be significant enough to hurt Seokmin’s feelings.”

“You’d be surprised, Seungkwan-ah,” Jeonghan muses out loud. “Just don’t be careless, okay?”

Seungkwan is the furthest thing from careless. If anything, he cares _too_ much.

—-

Seungkwan knows he’s pissing everyone off but he doesn’t care — everything is going wrong and he only has about four hours before he effectively ruins the most important day of two of his favorite people’s life.

Mingyu is telling him to breathe and not freak out, and Vernon is on his other side trying to call another supplier because the drapery has fallen into the catering table and now he has neither the billowy ceiling canopy framing the area where Wonwoo and Soonyoung were supposed to be exchanging vows nor the ramped up punch that he intended to drown himself in after the ceremony.

So it’s all gone to shit.

Worst of all, he’d yelled at Seokmin, and on top of panicking he now feels like the worst person ever.

Minghao had given him a disapproving scowl as Seokmin pushed out of the main hall, stuttering something about giving Nayoung and Seungcheol a hand, and followed him out the door. Mingyu, Junhui and Vernon stayed behind to help him salvage what he could, but the stilted awkwardness that remained after they both left had Seungkwan feeling restless and antsy.

God, he hated fighting with Seokmin.

Before, saying that would have made him fall off the bed laughing. Back when they were practically strangers, he and Seokmin used to have some straight out shouting matches, so ridiculous and legendary that their choir teacher had often banished them to detention for plenty of after-school thinking. Reconciliation was never an option, as Seungkwan had always seen Seokmin for what he was — genuinely talented, and therefore his biggest competition and threat. 

Vernon used to snort and call him overdramatic, but Seungkwan stayed firm in his resolve that he would never let Seokmin beat him, would never let the other gain the upper hand over him.

Until one day he was playing some kind of card game with Mingyu and Mingyu languidly pointed out that Seokmin had never been the one to start fights with him, that it had always been Seungkwan who instigated quarrels.

“That’s not true!”

Mingyu laughed, before trumping the card Seungkwan had just put down with one of his own. “Seokmin has only thought the world of you. It’s you who’s so determined to make him your enemy.”

Ever since, he had to begrudgingly admit that Mingyu was right. If his temper didn’t spark up because of how envious he was of how easy Seokmin reached the higher notes in the solos, he and Seokmin got along well. Great, even. They had plenty in common, and Seokmin, after figuring out that Seungkwan didn’t necessarily hate him, always had this light in his eye every time Seungkwan sank into the seat next to him, ready to discuss dramas or musicals or whatever ballad was currently topping the charts. 

Turns out that Seokmin had always had time for Seungkwan. Turns out that no matter what Seungkwan had said and done in the past, Seokmin would always be ready to wash it all away with a wave of his hand and his open, forgiving heart.

Seokmin was the best person.

It ate at Seungkwan like a disease.

“I’m the worst,” he tells the room at large. When no one exactly springs to his defense several beats later, he glares at the nearest person, who happens to be Mingyu. “Hyung!”

Mingyu raises his eyebrow at him. “So you want me to lie to you now?”

“No,” Seungkwan mutters; he kicks out his feet a little. “Maybe.”

Vernon and Mingyu exchange a look; Junhui is blissfully ignorant fixing chairs. Vernon sighs. “Look, just say you’re sorry. It always works. It’s a stressful day. You know he’ll forgive you.”

 _He always does_ goes unspoken.

“I don’t deserve his forgiveness,” Seungkwan pouts mulishly. He’s just about done packing the stained curtains into the large transparent plastic bags that Junhui had unearthed out of nowhere. “Sometimes I wish he held more of a grudge.”

“Oh, Seokmin can hold one _hell_ of a grudge, believe me,” Mingyu tells him. A memory seems to cross his mind, and he wrinkles his nose. “It’s not that. It’s _you_.”

“Why do people keep telling me these things as if they’re supposed to mean something? They don’t! I don’t want them to!” Seungkwan explodes all of a sudden. He looks up to see three surprised faces staring back at him, and he realizes it’s maybe because of the tears suddenly dripping down his cheeks. “Fuck.”

“Kwan-ah,” says someone softly, and he realizes it’s Junhui giving him a warm back hug. “You’ll figure this out.” His hands rub up and down Seungkwan’s frame and all of a sudden he just shatters.

He turns around in Junhui’s arms and cries, all of the anxiety, stress and emotion of the past few weeks finally finding its way out of him. He feels rather than sees Mingyu and Vernon give him a bracing hug from all sides, but Seungkwan can’t help but feel that the only way for him to feel better is to have Seokmin smile at him and tell him all’s well, that nothing will change.

Because that’s what he wants.

Right?

—-

The ceremony goes well.

By the time Soonyoung wraps up his vows with a teary little tiger roar, despite how ridiculous it sounds, there isn’t a dry eye in the house. Wonwoo blinks away the beginnings of wetness before swooping down to give his partner a fond kiss, smiling as their lips meet sweetly. The whole thing was overly dramatic, ridiculous and unnecessary but it made both of them so happy, and so Seungkwan gathered that it was all worth it.

He’d been one of the loudest appreciators from the first row, his exuberant cheering trying to drown out the anxious feeling that crawled up his spine every time Seokmin even turned to look at him from two feet away. They still hadn’t spoken, too busy running around making frantic last minute arrangements. 

It all came together in the end — Vernon had managed to contact an events supplier to fix the ceiling drapes and Nayoung and Seungcheol had sidestepped several traffic laws to procure a new batch of drinks for everyone. Seungkwan is glad, but he hadn’t had the time to relax before Jihoon had texted him that he and Wonwoo were about to drive up to the venue in three minutes.

He’s alone at the table watching everyone get progressively drunker and more animated on the dance floor, swilling a glass of punch with extra soju infused when Soonyoung grabs the seat next to him, giving him a rhapsodic embrace that Seungkwan returns happily. His friend is happy. That’s what matters the most, right? He’ll never plan a wedding again in his life, but at least Soonyoung is happy.

“Thank you, Kwannie,” Soonyoung tells him warmly, smelling faintly of alcohol and sweat. He draws back, gives him a grin so wide it pushes his cheeks up into soft round balls. “Wonwoo and I are so grateful, so happy.” He smooshes Seungkwan’s face in between his palms, and it’s only because Seungkwan doesn’t want Wonwoo to maim him for giving his newly announced life partner a concussion that he doesn’t retaliate. “We owe you one.”

“It’s nothing, hyung,” Seungkwan manages to say through pursed lips and a glare. “But if you plan on renewing your vows every year, I’m only doing this once every ten years at the very least.”

Soonyoung chuckles, before releasing Seungkwan’s face and laying his head on his shoulder. “Seokmin told me you two had an argument.” He breathes out, closes his eyes. “I don’t want you two to break up because of this thing. I’d be devastated.”

“We aren’t…” Together, is what he should have said, but Soonyoung has a terrible pout and is slightly drunk and so what if Seungkwan just wants to get out of this conversation? He sighs. This is what he tells himself. “We aren’t breaking up because of this.”

“Good,” Soonyoung exhales and snuggles closer. Seungkwan looks around and sees Wonwoo already on his way over, eyes crinkled fondly over Soonyoung falling asleep on him.

“Congratulations, hyung,” he tells Wonwoo, deadpan. Wonwoo takes pity on him and hooks one of Soonyoung’s arms around his shoulders in order to pull him off Seungkwan. “You married a lightweight.”

“I knew that going in,” Wonwoo replies breezily. Seungkwan melts just a little when he sees Wonwoo press a quick kiss to Soonyoung’s forehead. He really _is_ happy for them, the happiest he can be. A tiny part of him wonders what it would be like to have someone look at him the way Wonwoo looks at Soonyoung.

He realizes he’d spoken out loud when Wonwoo chuckles at him. “But you already do, Kwan-ah.” He gives him a knowing look through his glasses.

Seungkwan narrows his eyes at him. “Are you going to tell me you’re part of this massive brainwashed hivemind that’s somehow convinced themselves that I’m in a relationship with Seokmin when I’m _not_?”

Wonwoo gives him a withering look. “Please. I’m the group braincell owner. I know better.” He lets out a huffy laugh when Soonyoung rouses a little just to whisper something in his ear, before casually wrapping an arm around his waist. “The husband wants to dance, so dance we must, but before I go, Kwan-ah…” 

The look he shoots Seungkwan is a kind look, an understanding look, a look that makes Seungkwan want to shrink into himself because he feels horribly exposed. “I know what it feels like to be absolutely terrified of ruining a good thing. It’s scary as fuck, but Seungkwan… there are things that are worth the risk of ruining.” He flicks a glance over at Soonyoung’s head, lolling on his shoulder, before giving Seungkwan a smile. “He’s outside in the garden, by the way, if you’re so inclined.”

Wonwoo then turns and half-drags Soonyoung to the rapidly expanding dance floor, leaving Seungkwan to peer behind him at the painted doors that led to the side exit, and a small private garden.

—-

When Seungkwan steps out of the hall, it’s already half-past nine in the evening. The noise of whatever tunes Chan has selected as the evening’s makeshift DJ gets muffled when he closes the door behind him.

Wonwoo was right. Seokmin _is_ there. He’s there, alone, and looking so solemn and handsome that it makes Seungkwan’s breath catch.

He can’t speak, even when Seokmin turns around to see who’s there — the look in Seokmin’s eyes stops him. He hasn’t seen that look on Seokmin’s face since high school and Seungkwan was picking a fight with him about who would get to be Evan Hansen for choir club that day.

Seokmin always let him be Evan Hansen.

“I’m sorry,” Seungkwan blurts out all of a sudden, because he can’t stand it, having Seokmin look at him like that, like the years between them of companionship and laughter have simply vanished and they’re back to who they were in high school — insecure, moody, sensitive and suspicious of one another. “I was frustrated and I let it all out on you.”

“You should be mad at me. Don’t tell me it’s okay,” Seungkwan’s eyes widen when his voice breaks all of a sudden. Alarmed, Seokmin stands up to rush over to Seungkwan, who steps back, arms wrapped around himself in a weak attempt to shield himself, to protect himself. Against what, he’s not sure yet. “You always say it’s okay, but it’s not.”

Seokmin tilts his head, blinks. “What are you talking about Seungkwan?” He steps forward and places his hands on Seungkwan’s shoulders gently, both to comfort and to stop Seungkwan from turning away. “As long as you’re sorry, it’s okay. I’m not mad. I never was.”

“You never are, even when I deserve it.” Seungkwan bites his lip, willing the tingly sensation in his nose to go _away_.

“Seungkwan,” Seokmin starts, and he steps even closer. He smells so nice, and Seungkwan is so tempted to bury his face into his shoulder. He could have done it, before this wedding — spiritual ceremony — before everyone put _meaning_ where there wasn’t any, making Seungkwan and Seokmin out to be something they’re not.

_They’re not._

_Right?_

“Tell me what’s really bothering you, please.” Seokmin is so handsome — he’s wearing his best suit, the one that Seungkwan helped him pick out, the one that Seungkwan had thought brought out the flicks of white-gold in his eyes the most. His honey-brown hair is styled nicely and he looks like a prince, or a young king, about to pull a sword out of a stone. It makes Seungkwan’s heart skip a beat, makes a restlessness run underneath his skin. 

_He deserves so much better._

Seokmin quirks his mouth, giving him the tiniest smile. “I don’t deserve better, I just… want you to be honest. Kwannie.”

Fuck, Seungkwan should really stop talking out loud.

“Did you know,” he starts, swallowing thickly and clearing his throat, before laughing faintly. “That people think we’re dating?”

Seokmin’s eyes widen just a fraction. “What?” His mouth drops open. “Who?”

“Everyone, apparently,” he says, shrugging. “Oh, except Wonwoo-hyung.” 

“I thought, well, when Soonyoung-hyung mentioned it, I thought he was kidding,” Seokmin says. He’s beginning to stumble over his words, clearly nervous. “Everyone?”

Seungkwan nods, and a strange expression comes over Seokmin.

“And I… I guess that’s what’s bothering you, then?”

He looks up, and Seungkwan wants to say, yes, it’s bothering me, and Seungkwan wants for Seokmin to nod and laugh, to understand and to tell him that they should just march back into the banquet hall and just tell everyone that they’re mistaken and things go back the way they used to be.

But Seokmin’s bottom lip quivers waiting for Seungkwan’s answer, just the slightest bit, and Seungkwan cannot have that.

So he does what every young man who has just realized he’s in love with his best friend and is currently standing in front of said best friend underneath the moonlight after an evening of watching people celebrate love — he snakes his arms around Seokmin’s neck to pull him closer and kiss him.

 _Oh_ , Seungkwan thinks, and then he doesn’t think; all he can register is Seokmin’s little gasp of surprise into his mouth before he feels his lips curve against his. Seungkwan smiles back, frissons of delight tightening his chest when Seokmin steps even closer, sliding arms down to wrap around his waist. 

He sees nothing, only feels, only wants, only loves.

Seokmin pulls away with a slight giggle, but not going too far — only pressing their foreheads together as they catch their breath. It makes Seungkwan whine, already missing him. “I’m going to take a guess that… it doesn’t… bother you?”

“You’re a funny guy, hyung,” Seungkwan would sound more wry and deprecating if he wasn’t trying to push himself even closer into Seokmin’s personal space. His eyes flutter open and his heart warms, shy, when he sees Seokmin gazing at him with so much blatant adoration it makes him feel like the biggest dumbass on the planet. “We should talk.”

“We should,” Seokmin agrees, voice gentle. He lays his head on Seungkwan’s shoulder. “Now?”

Seungkwan thinks about it, but remembers that they’re here for another reason entirely and he suddenly feels the terrible need to drag Seokmin out to the dance floor and maybe go onstage and sing a song or two for the grooms. Life partners. Whatever.

Besides, he thinks, giving Seokmin a bracing smile, they have time.

“Later.”

Seokmin nods, before smiling. It’s exhilarating, to have all that dazzling beauty specially directed at you. Seungkwan thinks he’s lucky, that he’s always been lucky and he’s just now realizing it. “Okay, later.”

“Wait, before we go in,” Seungkwan says, stopping Seokmin before they head back in. “I have a question for you.”

Seokmin grins. Seungkwan melts. It’s a pattern he’s excited to repeat over and over again.

“Shoot.”

Seungkwan slips his hand into his, intertwining their fingers; he crinkles his nose when it makes Seokmin’s cheeks flare red. Seungkwan thinks he’s the one who owes Soonyoung big time now. 

“Lee Seokmin, will you date me?”

_Fuck. Jeonghan is never going to let me live this down, but I don’t care. Worth it._

Seokmin’s hand tightens around his, and he gives him a soft, shy kiss on the cheek.

“All you had to do was ask.”

**Author's Note:**

> Seventeen musings at @/historiologies, other fandoms (cough, MDZS) at @/hanguangjuun. Thank you for reading!!


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